Schweppes is a good name for a baby.

788 788_ () 788 788 Isn’t it amazing how feeling not good can affect your whole outlook on life? I’m pretty sure this is where the whole “wear comfortable shoes” advice comes from: even the slightest turn off Feel Good Lane can change everything.

Tonight, I’m sitting around (because that’s what I’m getting pretty good at), sitting and looking at things around the house. And it all makes me feel… eh. Just eh. Not sad or bummed out or feeling some kind of despair. Just kinda like, blah.

My Christmas music? Blah. China cabinet that offered such joy a few weeks ago (or was it only days?)? Blah. The baseboards? Double blah. The laundry, which once brought me great pleasure (my dirty little secret: I love doing laundry.)? Blah.

Again, not bad feelings. Just very, very neutral. I could absolutely take it or leave it.

I’m feeling this way about a lot of things. Food is in this category most of the time, unless I can get the idea of what I can get down and then just go for it right that minute. Then that works great. Today, I was out shopping while the boys were all at school, and I drove by this burrito place. “I could totally eat a taco,” I decided, and veered in. I heartily ate my meal and it was delicious and I felt great for several hours after that.

Tonight, when Paul called to tell me when he’d be home, I asked if he’d go get another taco for me. He did, totally out of his way, added a ton of time; it was very sweet of him.

Except, by the time he got home, I could barely get half the thing down. The moment had passed and now the precious is just sitting on the table, taunting me. “How dare you change your mind,” it’s squealing.

Two things (besides Paul) that have not failed me: saltines and gingerale. I am feeling so much better, in general, this go-round and I think it’s because I keep these two items on hand at all times. When I taught Spanish on Wednesday, I munched crackers and sipped ale and did just fine. I love you both. Don’t ever leave me. Ever.

The very positive side of all this (besides the whole “new-life aspect,” which I promise I am not forgetting, even though I’m whining a bit, and I’m sorry for that) — the positive side is that I am taking it easier than I ever have in my life. Seriously. Anytime there is something I can get one of the boys to do, I take advantage. I’m amazed at how many opportunites there are to pop up off the couch, times that I have done so non-stop in the past. And all things the boys are absolutely capable of. Short of helping someone out in the bathroom, they are doing it. I’m very proud (of them, and me).

Tonight, after the boys’ dinner (frozen pizza, getting some protein, taking the night off from cereal), I sat with them and watched a show. I almost never do that. I’m usually taking that hour to clean up, switch over laundry, get everything just so. And there is a part of that that’s good and necessary (I can’t deny who God made me). I worked on an Advent paperchain with Ethan. I did the crossword. I stared out into space while the boys played quietly.

In this season, what a blessing to be forced to slow down. As Advent begins, a time when I always long to take time and reflect, but never seem to get the chance to slow down — here is it forced upon me.

I’ll take it. 788″>

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Having experienced the same thing you describe plus the shock of #5 (I mean, can I NOT count to 14?) I just want to tell you that you are totally allowed to have the “luxury” of being an off-in-space staring, couch potato, ginger ale chuggin’ blob. No questions, no guilt.
    The second trimester will come soon enough. You can catch up on those baseboards then.
    Hang in there! xoxo mg

  2. Mom of boys says:

    I also find that one amazing aspect of pregnancy is that you suddenly realize how much more your older boys are really capable of doing! I turned over several chores to my 6 (then 5) and 4 year old boys at the end of my last pregnancy and I haven’t looked back!

  3. the holly says:

    every time i’m preggers i think i should buy stock in ginger ale. unfortunately, i always forget once that second trimester comes around. 🙂

    peace, friend, to you and your tummy.
    hols

  4. Good for you Rachel! I’ll send up a few prayers for you. And, by the way, I’m still jealous even if you are feeling blah.
    Blessings,
    Lynn

  5. jerseygirlmama says:

    While pregnant with my daughter (born this past July 6) at this time last year, I was really excited to be nearing my 12th week so that my morning sickness (which was full of full-on throwing up) would be subsiding. Oh, I was a naive first time mama. I had morning sickness for 30 weeks out of 38 weeks and 6 days I was pregnant! I’m so happy ginger ale and saltines are working for you, nothing worked for me. We told everyone we were pregnant at Thanksgiving which was earlier than we planned, especially since we lost our first baby around that time, but what better to give thanks for! Blessings to you and all the little people in your life!

  6. I’m at 23 weeks, and I well remember that blah feeling. I found it a good reminder to be dispassionate about the things of this world. When all the pleasure has gone out of food, things, and activities, the only joy remaining is in the Lord and the people we love.

    I want to thank you for being such a great role model. I read your blog everyday. This is baby #1 for us, but we want a large family. Since I’ve been pregnant, it feels like people come out of the woodwork to tell me how difficult/expensive/exhausting and generally unpleasant it is to have children, especially babies. Your grace and humor, and the obvious joy you take in your family keep me from paying too much attention to the well-meaning naysayers. Thanks & God bless Family Balducci.

  7. I suppose that Scheppes is better than CanadaDry. Maybe. If you went with CanadaDry and it’s a girl, you could call her Candy!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Some ginger tea always ended my pregnancy nausea… that might help.