I Heart Heartbeat

836 836_ () 836 836 I just got back from the OB office; I was scheduled to have an appointment today but my doctor had to go out-of-town. When her nurse called, I asked if I could still do a heart-tone check because my good feelings are starting to equal the bad. While this is always an exciting time, there is still something slightly nerve-wracking about the shift; I want to feel good, but only if it’s time to feel good.

I had several days in a row of feeling fantastic, even to the point of a major mood shift. Not only was I not green, I was happy! Not that I haven’t been happy these last few weeks, but this was Happy! — a feeling of joy down to my bones. I haven’t felt that way in a while, which I remember tends to be a normal part of my initial hormone boost. It’s not that I’m necessarily sad, just not high-on-life as I (mostly) tend to be.

So today I went in and heard the little peanut and everything sounds good. And I have been feeling gross again the last few days, so I wasn’t too worried. But still, here I am on my fifth baby and the sound made me cry. Music to my nauseous little ears.

“A miracle in the making,” said the nurse. “It’s amazing…”

“It is,” I said, before realizing that I interrupted her.

“…that something so little can make you feel so sick.”

And that’s true too!

In other news, now I can go buy some bigger clothes. I guess not maternity just yet, but something where my shirt isn’t riding up to expose my slightly-bloated belly button.

“Why do I keep seeing your tummy,” Charlie asked me the other day as I pulled down my shirt for the 27 millionth time.

“That’s just the way it’s going to be for a while,” I said.

“You look like Mary Jane off Spiderman.”

Kiddo, I’ll take what I can get. 836″> ?



  1. So glad to hear that it is all looking well. I understand totally how you feel. I have been there myself. I will surely remember you in my prayers

  2. Anonymous says:

    So Rachel: what is your “secret” for being so “high-on-life” as you normally tend to be? Because sometimes it seems quite difficult to muster up the strenght to be in that frame of mind –

  3. *sigh*
    I still remember the first time I heard JJ’s heartbeat and the look of wonder on my OB’s face when she said, “There is is!”. How many times she must have heard that amazing sound and how it still affects her every time.

    I can’t wait for the next one!

  4. Ruth Anne Adams says:

    Be forewarned: We didn’t discover baby #2 until ultrasound #2–at week 20. No wonder they kept finding that heartbeat so fast on the doppler!

  5. Pete or Kathryn says:

    I know exactly what you mean about high-on-life feeling, but only if you should be because that pause between “blek” and baby movement is when I doubt the most. It is such a relief to hear that little woosh, woosh, heartbeat! Congratulations Mary Jane from Spiderman!

  6. Rachel Swenson Balducci says:

    anon: For me, the answer is (in large part) exercise.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Congratulations! Glad to hear things are going well with the pregnancy! Just a little tip for wearing your non-maternity clothes a little longer and still keeping the belly covered. These are called Belly or Maternity bands, and can also be used post partum to cover the midrif when hiking up the shirt to nurse. I thought they were a neat idea.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I liken it to the whooshing sound of the washing machine. Gets me choked up every month. :o) mg

  9. Ruth Anne Adams says:

    That whoosh-whoosh always sounded to me like corduroy knickers rubbing together while walking briskly.

    Doppler heartbeats: the original white noise.

  10. Rachel, I found you linked from Amy Welborn’s site and now I check in on you every day. Congratulations! I love that sound and it still made me cry when I heard it from baby seven. By the way, if you’re in need of brides for all you wonderful boys I currently have six daughters to choose from. I think I come to read you so much because I long for another son so much 🙂 Take care.

  11. Anonymous says:

    RE on the exercise Rachel: So my next question would be: WHEN do you find the time!! If I could buy time I would pay top dollar for that. Really! For a full time working single mom, I would sacrifice some dollars for an extra hour a day. You keep it up Girl. God had trully blessed you, in case you did not know it (but I am sure you do!) –

  12. Did I mention to you the wonder of Gap Yoga Pants? at 7 1/2 months I am still wearing them, preferring them to the Belly Basics black stretchy pants I spent too much money on three years ago. With sneakers or clogs they look like sweats. With heeled boots they look like oh-so-hip black stretchy pants.

  13. Rachel Swenson Balducci says:

    Anon: Sorry I never responded. Yes, I do know I am blessed. I’m sure being a single full-time working mom is very challenging, especially on your schedule. Right now, exercise is a huge priority for me; I go after I drop off the boys at school. If I don’t get that in, mentally I would suffer. God bless you.