Weekly column
In a few short months, Paul and I will be ushering into our family another member, a brand new little person who will change the dynamic of our world, most definitely for the better.
Adding to the mix is always such a surreal event – one minute, things are the way they are. You are used to your little part of the universe and you love it and don’t necessarily feel like anything is missing. And then, along comes another baby and after knowing that tiny little person for even just a few hours, you can’t believe you lived so long without him.
When Henry came into our life two years ago, I’ll admit I had reservations about adding another child to our brood. For nearly six years, we had been a family with four boys, and those four boys had become a quite a unit. I wondered if this new family member would fit in, how the dynamic of this person would change our set-up. Would the transition be seamless, or would this added child be off alone, the “other baby” we had years after all the others.
It took all of two minutes for me to look at baby Henry and marvel that I hadn’t known him my entire life. Henry is such an important part of our family landscape that we can’t believe he hasn’t always been here.
Love is certainly a mysterious thing.
When I was pregnant with our oldest son, I spent a lot of time worrying about my capacity to love this unborn human. I also worried that if I loved the baby too much, I would forget about my husband. How could I love them both? How would my heart manage?
The answer, I discovered, is that it manages just fine.
A few years later, when baby number two came along, in crept those same fears. There was all kinds of love flowing in my heart for my son and husband, but I wasn’t convinced I had the time and energy to offer the same to anyone else. Where would all these emotional resources come from?
Finally I caught on to the miracle of the human heart – that this gift of love we are given offers the ability for our heart to somehow expand and love more than we ever imagined. We love so much that it hurts.
And yet, even though I have learned this lesson many times before I find that the same concerns can creep in from time to time. As we await the arrival of baby number six, I wonder about this unknown creature. Who is this little person we will soon meet? What will he (or she?!) be like? How do our hearts continue to expand?
One recent morning, as Paul and I were getting ready for the day, Henry had climbed onto our bed and was doing some kind of fancy front flip. He was laughing while he flailed himself onto the pillows and my husband and I stared at him with delight.
“What did we ever do without him,” I asked Paul.
“Will the next baby be this awesome,” he asked me back.
Of course, we know the answer – every child is an incredible gift. Each child enters a family and offers something new and beautiful that wasn’t there before.
Having a new baby takes plenty of energy and certainly requires some adjustment. There will be weeks of sleepless nights and the pinch that change can bring. We will be tired and challenged.
But we will also be blessed, and we’ll thank God and marvel at our good fortune. We will look at this baby and realize here is exactly what we needed, here is the piece of the puzzle we had been waiting for, the part we didn’t even realize we were missing.
Nicely said! The miracle of motherhood is a wonderful, wonderful gift.
I have always marveled at how little time it takes for me to think that I've known my "new" baby forever. A wise woman once told me that every new baby has lived in his mother's heart since the day she was born.
Kari
beautiful Rachel! And nice to have the reassurance that although first comes heartburn, then comes abundance of love!!
Beautiful. I wish every family that was "done" after two children would read and at least consider.
Thank you for this reminder. I am having my 3rd boy in April and am feeling very overwhelmed and have been wondering how it will all work. Thank You for reminding me that it will work because God gave us all the ability to love each child we have and that he will make it work out whatever we face.
Thank you, Rachel. I really needed to read this today.
We are early pregnant with #2, and I've had those same worries recently.
Again, thanks.
Great timing.
God Bless you, your boys, and the new one on the way!
Another Bladucci! This world will be a better place indeed! ;0)
Love this post. I want to print it and read it over and over at the "pinch" of a 3am feeding with our upcoming baby #3 (our 1st son! – I can order your new book for me now!! LOL!!)
Thanks for this perspective! Much love!
It's so true! With each new baby I always wonder how life can be any better (on the good days!!:) ) After the first 5, it was hard to see how another one would fit in. Twins were #4and 5, so it just seemed a bit strange at first to add another one. Now #6 is three and we do wonder what life was ever like before him! Enjoy these moments knowing you will enjoy them with a new baby soon!
inspiring! I had my 6th baby (1st girl!) following 5 boys like yourself….and I too had a 6 year break between 4th boy and 5 th boy! these days I question my ability to parent #5 (leo) with ethusiasm and patience! thanks for reminding me how I felt about each baby as they were still forming inside of me and how pregnancy makes you see things through God lenses..Life is precious at every stage! Bless you
Dede
Boymob and Gigi (gianna)
So true! I remember crying when I was just about to have our 2nd son – so sad for this poor little baby who could not POSSIBLY be loved as much as his older brother. And as soon as I held his sweet babyness in my arms, my heart melted and I had a good laugh at myself! Now our youngest is 5, we are both in our 40's and we think perhaps we're done – but, not being sure, it's always nice to be open to God's gift of life, even just as little. This was a great reminder (as it is whenever I look at our 5-year old "surprise"!), how God always knows what's best for your family, and what a gift it is when we are open to that.
Thank you so much for this post. It was beautiful and I am pregnant with my 4th and I always spend so much time wondering all the same things each time. This brought tears to my eyes because it is so true that each child brings something new that we didn't even know we were missing. I don't even remember life before my children because they have changed it so much.