Managing With Grace

Weekly column
Things have been going along pretty well lately, and sometimes I amaze myself by how well I’m taking things in stride. It’s not that I go around in awe of my magnificence, mind you, because like so many human beings I am often overly-aware of my shortcomings.

But there is an important balance to strike between humility and self-confidence. Sometimes, it’s good and very important to sit back and take into account all the things going on in life. I try to remind myself to do this, to recognize everything that is on my plate and to realize the big picture of a busy life.

One recent morning I was on the phone with my brother. We were joyfully discussing some exciting family news. In the midst of that I was trying to unload my stroller so I could then unload the baby and the toddler and then go to a playground (while my older boys were at swim practice). I was going to get some work done while Henry played and Isabel slept and it was all going to be perfect!

As I was talking to my brother, I pulled down the back door of the suburban and it whacked me on the head. As is the case with getting hit on the head, I never saw it coming. The shock of it overwhelmed me (more than the pain) and I started fighting back tears.

“Owww,” I said, rubbing my head, as I balanced the phone and stroller and watched for oncoming cars.

“Are you okay,” asked my brother.

“Yes,” I said, “I just hit…” and I trailed off because the tears started flowing.

“What’s wrong,” he asked, and I couldn’t get out the words. I started to explain but my voice kept getting that high-pitched sound that comes from trying to talk and not cry when what you really want is to cry and not talk.

“Do you need to go,” said my brother. I started to tell him no, I’m fine but what came out was “Yes, I’m sorry, gah!”

I hung up and cried a little harder at the utter wimpiness of it all. How pathetic, I chided, as I wiped my nose and brushed away the tears.

A while later, composure regained, I started thinking through some recent events, a whole host of things going on in my life that ranged from the incredibly exciting to the overly stressful, with lots of everyday ups and downs in between.

I have been cruising along, taking it all in stride. I’m pacing myself (as best as I can) and trying to maintain a grasp on reality, all those important reminders about life with kids and the challenges of juggling and also doing the best you can without aiming for unreachable heights of perfection.

But even when all systems are go and conditions are good, and you aren’t necessarily feeling the strain, there is still a way life can just get to you. Sometimes it’s getting hit on the head (literally) or children with stomach bugs (and too often hormones have a starring role as well) and out of the blue the floodgates open.

There is nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed, as long as it isn’t the absolute, unrelenting constant. Of course there will be seasons when that is the case, but there will also be times in the midst of “ordinary time” when life’s details – even all the really good stuff – just add up and you are forced to recognize the magnitude.

It is in these moments that you stop and take a deep breath. Maybe you analyze what is sending you over the edge, or maybe you prefer to just get through that difficult moment without really over-thinking things. Either way, you get through. You regroup, you call your brother back and tell him sorry about that, hope that didn’t freak him out (and he says no, he totally gets it and he loves you).

And then you go back to life. One foot in front of the other, along with that important reminder that you are getting the job done, sometimes with finesse, sometimes without. But always with the grace so lovingly bestowed from above.