This afternoon I was working with eight-year-old Augie on a particular life skill that I will not mention here because I dropped the ball and it’s something he should have learned a while ago. You can guess but I won’t own up to it publicly because it’s one of those things that I always said “no need to stress because what 8-year-old can’t _______” (insert this particular behavior here).
Unfortunately, that attitude produced just that: an eight-year-old who couldn’t. And I’m only (quite vaguely) telling the story now because my son now officially can do this task. Thank the Lord because there was no way I was going to join him at college just to help him (insert behavior here). (And YES, he can read.)
So I had that attitude, thinking he’d eventually just figure out how to do this thing, the thing all other kids can do. But he didn’t eventually get it. And so, with the hot hot heat of Third Grade breathing down my neck, I crossed over from suggesting my son work on this skill to getting downright obsessive about. He needed to get this skill learned and done with. The End.
“Your teacher,” I’d say every time he started to give up on learning this skill, “she is going to be really upset that you can’t do this.” That would motivate him a bit until it would cross over from being motivational to unnerving. He couldn’t handle the pressure of working on the skill while imagining his teacher being annoyed with him. Truthfully, the teacher is a kind lady but she is also a former Catholic nun and has just enough Old School in her to keep children on their toes, which I absolutely used to my advantage.
In the midst of being *this close* to mastering the Life Skill, Augie was getting really frustrated and exasperated. This attitude, I might add, probably accounts for why I had not pushed through with forcing him to learn this in the past. Oh never mind, I’d usually say, just let me help.
No more!
Today, he got it. But not before I made him try ten times in a row. At the third attempt, he still hadn’t totally mastered it and was starting to get worked up per usual.
“You know what they say,” I patiently reminded him, “if at first you don’t succeed…”
“….then you’re not Chuck Norris,” he said in all seriousness, before taking a deep breath and trying again.
I'm guessing it was shoelace tying….
Yup, I'm also guessing tying shoes. Good job to him!
That's my guess, too. It's something I keep thinking I have to work on with my five-year-old, but getting out the door with a three-year-old and baby never seems like the right time for a lesson!
Heehee! I thought I was the only one with a child lacking that skill by grade 3! Same thing with mine though, I just thought he'd learn on his own somehow, haha! I love your blog and feel connected to your experiences as I also have 5 boys and one girl. My boys are 12, 9, 4 1/2, 2 1/2 and 7 months and my girl is 7.
And I bet Chuck Norris had to learn that particular skill too and would be very proud of you now that you can!! You go Augie!!!
My guess is tying shoes, too. There are so many styles with velcro or "bungee" laces these days that I don't think it's as necessary for kids to learn at an early age as it was a generation or two ago. My daughter needed to practice on our shoes, since she didn't even own a pair that laced! My daughter's school shoes usually buckle, so when she learned she had to ask to tie a classmate's shoes to demonstrate to her teacher that she knew how! Cheers to Augie! (Is that short for something? Augustine maybe? It's very stylish!)
augie makes me hope for a little boy one day! that was hilarious!
shoelaces? My not quite 8 year old learned to tie them 2 weeks ago out of necessity. Back to school show shopping produce no velcro or bungee tie shoes in his size in all 5 stores we visited. It was tie shoes or nothing. His 6.5 year old brother can't tie them either but we found velcro straps shoes for him
loafers
If it is shoe tying – we are in the same boat. My 9 year old learned at the end of the last school year becuase the only velcro tennis shoes in his size look like they are for the men at the nursing home (white or beige). My 8 year old has smaller feet so he still has velcro shoes (we need to work on this skill someday
My daughter (age 6) wears maryjanes so we do not have to worry about this issue yet – even her tennis shoes are maryjane style.
I was going with shoe tying also!! When my older ones were in school, they had to learn because the uniform shoes required tying, and after kindergarten, the teachers wouldn't help anymore – too many kids with shoes!! with my younger ones, we are always in crocs or have velcro – but their feet are also getting too big. Only the little guy doesn't know how yet, and he's almost 6. I guess I need to get on that.
My now 13 year old youngest somehow never acquired the skill until later, either. It somehow got overlooked in the everyday chaos. One of the older brothers finally took him aside and taught him when he was about 8.
So funny, as I was watching my own third grader re-tie his soccer cleats time and time again in the middle of a game (last night) I was also wondering why I hadn't been better at teaching this life skill earlier. Soooooo glad I'm not the only one!
And here I was thinking it was not knowing how to wipe himself . . . The funny thing is, it actually fits into the story perfectly.
Christine C. — too funny. I wondered, as I was writing, if it could be construed that way.
But most of the guesses are spot on.
To Christine C.: Sadly, I don't think teachers nowadays, even in our Catholic schools, are allowed to assist with that sort of thing, even for the little ones. Too much chance that they could be accused of molestation.
I spent some considerable time with my eleven year old son this week teaching him to open the combination lock he will need for his middle school locker. It was stressful because he was sure all the other kids would be able to do it, he won't make it to class on time, etc.. There were some tears involved- I won't say who shed them. Here's the great part: last night he taught me a few new tricks on my cell phone. It was a good reminder that we're all teachers and we're all learners. Congrats to Augie on mastering the skill.
Very few of us have a child who takes her Fisher Price Old Woman in the Shoe toy and uses it on her own to learn to tie her shoes way before kindergarten. But then again she could wink either eye very well before her older brother could do one with much squinting! Of course you realize that this toy is no longer made and we had it in the 60s. I had a sister in law who was waiting for me to say Sarah could gargle!
In his defense, (and yours maybe!) a lot of shoes these days don't necessarily have ties. And typing one's shoes is some major fine motor skillage! My almost 4 yr old just got a pair with shoelaces and she hates them! She wants to "buckle or smash them"! (Velcro is what she smashes together.) Good job, dude!