Low Life

I’d like to tell you about the last few days around here but, to be honest, I’m scared.

You see, we are living like little plebeians around this joint. It’s kind of like Lord of the Flies meets My Three Sons, with a little Little House on the Prairie thrown in. (That last show reference is a total lie. I put that in there to make myself feel better.)

So what’s going on, you’d like to know. Here are the details, in fancy bullet-point display:

1. Tuesday evening: this. And boy do I hate to tell you this but I have had absolutely no problems with the boys. They are up there, tucked away, getting along famously because they are still in absolute shock that I agreed to this set-up. Like, Ethan made a chart of times and time limits and who would play when and it has worked beautifully. In addition to that, every so often they shut things down, voluntarily, and clean the room and regroup. It’s amazing.

2.Wednesday morning: we bring the van in for some work. Things that are under warranty, thankfully, but things that need to be dealt with. Paul and I head out bright and early and grab breakfast on the way home. Nice treat, and little did I know that’s the last time I’d see my van for several days.

3. Wednesday ALL. DAY.: I decide that morning that instead of getting worked up about the van being gone and us being stuck at home, we’re going to hunker down and just go the path of least resistance. Those words are like poison to me, they are like throwing in the towel and giving up my parenting chip and just yelling to the universe (and the Lord) that I have abandoned hope and am no longer trying. That’s how much of a failure I feel like when I toss my parenting ideals aside. Path of least resistance? Gasp!

4. But that’s the route I go. I let them do things like play the Wii and watch instant Netflix. Here and there they take breaks (totally on their own) and go outside to shoot hoops until the 104 degree, high humidity temps send them running back inside for the cover of central air.

5. In addition, I decide to say yes every time they ask to play something. Can I play with the ipod touch? YES! Can I play computer? YES! Can I watch a movie? YES! Can I play with knives? Whaddya think I’m a nut? (Okay, so not all ideals are lost.)

6. So you see where I’m going with this? I’m letting things go down the drain and the pot and it’s all working just fine. Besides feeling incredible semi-guilt, there are very few side effects. No fighting, no whining, no head whipping back in agitation because I said no, go read or play legos or something. Every few (oh crud I was about to say hours but that sounds horrible) every so often, we shut things down and have a work party. Clean kitchen, unload dishwasher, vacuum, put away laundry. And then we settle back in.

7. Thursday: Van not ready. Repeat Wednesday, continue on path of least resistance, YES!

8. Today, it got even better. My mom sent over a bag of candy and I let them take it up to their room! Where they were watching cartoons on the old rusty television. I mean, can you imagine? Another day of living large, cleaning here and there, doing a whole lot of nothing and them in utter heavenly shock at the whole affair.

9. But over the course of me writing this Confession, they have started to trickle down from upstairs. The van is now home (thanks for the ride, dad!) but it’s raining so the pool isn’t happening. But the boys are going outside, braving the heat and just breaking away from the t.v. Maybe they’re even thinking “why won’t she let us quit watching television? Doesn’t she know how bad it is for children?”

10. And if I weren’t such an honest woman, this is where I’d say something like “and that was my plan all along. The End.”

proof that we did tear ourselves away, here and there but did not all change from our jammers