I found the cutest little vest for Isabel the other day.
I had been on the lookout for some kind of jacket, perhaps a fleece or windbreaker. And see, I can hear you thinking, really? A windbreaker for a girl?
But here I am, dressing a girl after five boys and with boys you think of things like fleece jackets and windbreakers (and also hoodies, but I knew better for a girl!). That’s how boys roll.
I was bemoaning some unlucky shopping to a friend, she with three daughters who heard my cries and suggested I look for an outerwear vest.
“They look cute pulled over a sweater,” she said.
Got it. Vest. Cute with sweater.
So out I went in search of something cute and lo and behold one of the shoppes at the mall had the cutest little vest — a quilted number in a dazzling shade of green — and without staring too long or hard at the price tag I bought it.
To describe, it was cute and little, but it also had a cinched waist with a bow around it! And a hood, trimmed with faux fur!
As the store clerk was helping me check out, we were both marveling at the cuteness of this vest. I was actually bordering on swooning, still in shock that I was actually getting to buy such a thing of beauty. Boy stuff is cute and nice too, don’t get me wrong. But a little more rugged, with a lot less fur.
Finally, I couldn’t resist any longer. I had to share this moment with the cashier.
“This is our first girl after five boys,” I explained. To which she obviously very nearly fainted.
I generally don’t say anything, because people inevitably freak out about the “five boys” part. I’m not trying to be flamboyant or over-the-top. But sometimes it really is fun to let others in on the secret, to let some random stranger share in my joy. “We had a girl after five boys,” I’ll explain when they see me tearing up over a pair of cable-knit tights.
It was fun to share that sweet moment, the joy of a silly little (cute) vest, to let this woman know just exactly why I was so excited, what it meant to me to get to pick this out.
How often, I wondered later on, do we share moments with complete strangers? What affect do we have on them?
I remembered a time years ago when I went to the party store to get a bunch of balloons for our son Elliott’s first birthday. He is our second son and there was something so magical about his first birthday — maybe the sheer joy that we had made it to that point.
I was so happy that day, buying those blue balloons. And the person blowing them up? Well she was a complete pill.
I hate to say that, but she was in a kind of mood that no matter how much joy I threw her way, she doused it with her glum.
“Don’t you know,” I wanted to shout, “that one year ago today I was giving birth? And I survived a year with two baby boys in my care?”
But I didn’t. I didn’t say a thing.
Because I realized that sometimes we are sharing in people’s pain, too. And that isn’t nearly as much fun.
Maybe that girl was having something really painful and horrible happening in her life. Or maybe she was just tired. Either way, I didn’t let her sour nature get me down, but I decided not to throw it back at her either.
“Be kind,” goes the saying, “for everyone is fighting a great battle.”
I have to remember this, when I’m out and about encountering others. Sometimes we share in joy, sometimes in pain. Either way, our job is to be a little reflection of God to those around us. We really can bring love to a hurting world.
Sometimes that is through a smile. And sometimes it’s the simple act of not flinging back what is flung at us.
This column originally appeared in The Southern Cross.
One thing I love about living in the South is that I feel free to strike up a conversation with people. They don’t freak out if you talk to them in the checkout line!
I talk to everyone practically all of the time, I love hearing what they are about. Somehow this doesn’t hold true for me in airplanes though, I used to do it all the time on the shuttle from Boston – New York but now when I get on a plane it’s like retreat time. But all other locations are fair game for convo!
It’s so much fun to find that perfect item, but it’s much more rewarding to let someone in on the fun.
I love it when I’m shopping with my oldest (9-year-old) and she’s able to help someone. We were at the grocery store and an older woman was struggling to reach something on the bottom shelf. Without prompting (which makes it even better), my daughter asked the lady if she could get the item for her. It made the woman’s day and my daughter kept talking about good she felt. Just like The Little Flower – a little sacrifice.
Hi Rachel, What a sweet post. Having 4 boys, I never get to purchase darling clothes like you described…I only pine for them from a distance. I’m dying to see this adorable vest. Can you post a picture? Thanks and Happy Thanksgiving with love, Amy W from Colorado
Hi Rachel!
I recently stumbled across your blog, and am so glad I did! I have four sons and, finally, a baby girl (she’s almost 2 now!) This post made me tear up a bit. Francesca received a lot of hand me downs from friends and family. The very first clothing item I purchased for her was her baptismal gown. I sobbed with joy at that checkout! I so appreciate all you offer here at Testosterhome!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Where, indeed, is the photo of the vest?
Some 16 years ago my husband and I stood in the checkout at Walmart with diapers, formula and baby girl clothes. I excitedly said to the cashier, “We’re adopting a baby girl and we’re bringing her home on Saturday!”. Blank look in response. I didn’t let it get me down! Nothing could that night!
So sweet!
I love this. I have three small children, two with autism. Sometimes I run out to the store and I look as haggard as I feel and I am in a rush and I know I could be much more gracious with people. I hope that they are as understanding as you. If I have the three children with me, people often give me kind looks and assist me when they can. But when it is just me, they have no idea why I am running around like a crazy woman, and looking like one too! And I try to remember this about others too. You never know what is happening in the person’s life standing next to you in line…
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I think a fleece and windbreaker are perfectly normal for a little girl… But I live in Alaska and have three older brothers and no sisters. That being said I can still appreciate an adorable vest with faux fur trim. Pictures!p
Years and years ago, when I was in college and working summers in a movie theater, a woman came to my counter and ordered popcorn. “I haven’t been to a movie in 10 years,” she suddenly blurted out. “My husband and kids were all out, and I just decided – I’m going to go see a movie!” She was so excited that it made my day just to see someone that happy. I still think about it sometimes, especially when my own kids are driving me nuts and I think that someday they will all be old enough for me, too, to run out some random afternoon and go see a movie.
I think sharing joy with random strangers is a great idea!