When I was a young journalist fresh out of college, I had big plans for myself. I wanted a job at the local newspaper and my goal was to get as many front page stories as I could. I envisioned wearing classy suits and tracking down sources on the best stories.
When I started graduate school a few years later, I was a newlywed with only slightly-adjusted plans. I still wanted to do a lot of very important writing, but I knew that my flexibility would be affected by being married. I wasn’t in a position to move through the ranks, going from city to city as jobs arose.
I was fine with that decision, but felt in some ways that I had sealed my fate. By choosing marriage over a career, I reasoned, my writing would certainly suffer. All the great writers live in big towns so there goes that.
Add to that the big surprise of finding out, a few weeks before finishing my graduate classes, that baby number one was on the way. What were the odds of me actually writing a thesis? I would probably have to kiss my master’s degree goodbye.
But I didn’t. Somehow, a few months after having sweet baby Ethan, I started back with my efforts. I conducted my research, wrote my thesis and walked across the stage later that year, my husband and six-month-old son among my loved ones cheering me on.
Two years later, another son was born and I shelved everything. When son number four was born three years later, it felt like my diplomas were there to remind me of a life I had forever ago. My hopes for front page stories had been replaced by much loftier aspirations, the hopes and dreams of having these tiny humans learn to walk and talk and go pee-pee in the potty.
My life was overwhelmingly glamourous. I had traded in my swanky suits for a pair of linen maternity overalls — and my goodness I could not have been happier.
My ambitions of being a writer felt so far removed, mostly because I didn’t have time to miss them. I was ridiculously fulfilled, and yes also overwhelmed and tired, but mostly happy. I had no idea how much I would love the life of a homemaker.
But God is never done with us. And the reason we are wise to put our future in his hands is because he dreams big, much bigger than we ever could.
If it were up to me, I would have had fewer children. Because I doubted my ability to care for more than three. And if it were up to me, I would have thought that I had to choose — to pick either being a writer or being a mom.
God always knows best.
While I was busy living life, God opened doors for me. In the midst of being a wife and mother, here and there I got the chance to write. And lo and behold they weren’t mutually exclusive — and actually, in my life the two relied quite heavily on each other.
I found, in the midst of my life with all these boys, that writing about the ups and downs was therapeutic. Being a mom made me want to be a writer. Being a mother gave me something to write passionately about.
What I discovered, or perhaps what I remembered, is that God gives us gifts and he wants us to use them for his glory. When he gives us gifts, he will give us the chance to use them. We just need to work hard to always be in the center of his will.
“For I know well,” says Jeremiah 29:11, “the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you.”
Do not be limited by your own imagination. Trust in God’s plan for you, in his love for you, in his perfect knowledge of what you are able to do through him.
[This originally ran in The Southern Cross.]
Excellent Rachel! I have this little saying that goes “God’s plans are better than by best plans!” – We are blessed with your humor, and wit and creative writing, embedded with so many truths of the faith. May God continue to bless you on your journey – :0)
I finished your post, let myself sigh loudly and then felt what you had said. Thank you so much for reminding me to trust on a day when I needed that reminder it a lot!
Oh, I love this! All of it.
I think we’re told that we either have to chase a career to the detriment of our family or we give up a career completely and lose ourselves in motherhood. I really do think that both IS possible. No, I can’t pursue a career with the same fervor I might have without a child, but I can scale back.
I was watching the View last week and Elisabeth Hasselbeck told Barbara Walters, “Thank you for never making me choose between being a mom and being an employee.” I wish more of us were able to experience the best of both worlds.
My passions make me a better mother and motherhood makes having those passions more vital to my mental health.
Also, you had *linen* maternity *overalls*?! Oh my.
I’m in the early years of my homemaking journey and my feelings and hopes for myself mirror the ones you’ve shared. I know that God will use me in a powerful way. I just have to trust in His timing. Thank you for your eloquent reflection. It is just what this aspiring writer turned homemaker (but still aspiring writer) needed to read.
Whoa. Mega whoa. How did you know that the last three conversations I had (those not involving “do not feed your banana to the dog or please stop whining at mama”) were about my new purpose and how I missed my social work life. I have such anxiety about raising these babies into school aged people and then having to rebuild my career. You (and Jeremiah) spoke straight to my heart. Thank you, wise friend.
Thank you for reminding me that God has better plans than I have for myself….it was especially appropriate as I wait for the answer from one set of interviews for one job while preparing for an interview on a second job. I’ve been stressing and second-guessing myself rather than letting the Lord put me in the position He wants me to have.
Blessings!
Great reminder. God has never let me down. It’s hard letting go of control. or the illusion of control, but so worth it.
You know when your 4 yr old announces that when they grow up they are going to be a trash man. We smile at them knowing that we do need good trash collecters but we see even bigger things for our child. I think this must be a bit how it goes when we as adults tell God what we are going to do. HE must smile at us and know that is a good choice but He has even a better idea to share with us when we are ready.
I had no plans of “staying at Home”. I enjoyed my work and still loved my kids and I could do both. I still say I did do both well. But in the end being at home is my chosen vocation. And I found out pretty quickly that it is a job. I love how the church teaches it as a vocation. It took me along time to stop saying when people asked what I did to not answer with ” well I use to work at…. ” I had to have pride in my new vocation. I have been at home for 12 yrs now and I love it.
Thank you for sharing your story.
The above Biblical quote is my favorite one. Favorite. I feel the way that you do. My life ended up being far richer than I could have imagined. You are such an eloquent writer.
P.S. I too thought the same thing about linen maternity clothes-fancy!
Just what I needed today – thanks
Love this! So very true.
It’s also important to remember to listen. God may change our plans altogether. When I was in college, I wanted to teach French to little children. But there were no jobs, and I was in love, so I didn’t want to go to France to live for long enough to become truly fluent. I changed course and went to law school. Then, nine months after graduation, I had a baby. And another. For five years, I juggled and struggled, working part-time. For another seven years (and two more children), I juggled and struggled, working a few cases from home. Then we moved, and God sent us one more child, and events pushed us into home schooling – and there went the legal career. But as the children have grown, so have my horizons. Now I teach English to homes schoolers, teach confirmation class, teach a chastity program, coach (teach) a mock trial team… without any planning on my part, I have become a teacher. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next! Rachel is right, God’s plans are best – but it does take us a while to learn to trust Him.
Love this!!!! Thank you!