There was this outrageous letter to the editor the other day in our newspaper. Here’s the intro:
One of the most overrated jobs is motherhood. Nearly half the people on the planet are able to perform it. If you can use a television to baby-sit and push a button on a microwave, you have 90 percent of being an at-home mom accomplished. The person who really liberated women was the man who invented permanent-press.
The letter was so crazy it didn’t even warrant a rebuttal. But next thing I knew I was sitting down at the keyboard typing up a missive.
They printed it today.
There’s one part I will admit to right here and then I’ve said my piece and I can move on. In the letter I refer to myself as a “book author and talk show co-host” and I kind of want to puke for saying that. But here’s the thing: I was trying to prove a point. First off, those things are true. Even after I wrote it and I sat there and stared at the screen I thought “no, that’s not who I am.” But it is. I am those things (though I will admit I often times forget this is the case).
What I was trying to do was show that even with those things on my plate, motherhood is still the hardest gig I’ve got going.
So, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I don’t like to pump myself up but in this case I did for the purpose of proving my point. Maybe it worked, maybe it makes me sound like I have an inflated ego.
Either way, letter! Published!
Please allow me this opportunity to air a rebuttal to the hysterically myopic letter that appeared in the May 30 paper, written by Michael Ledo (“Ann Romney had it easy”). I also have five boys and am insulted that Mr. Ledo considers my job as a mother “overrated.” I can only hope that he is confusing the terms “motherhood” and “secretary,” and is basing his analysis of the ease and glamour of running a household on one’s ability to write a check to the maid.
All that aside – I’m sure the Romneys have a well-staffed home – the job of motherhood goes far beyond the joy of switching over the laundry and getting the dishwasher unloaded. That’s the easy part. Whether a woman works outside of the home or not, the care and feeding of children involves a to-do list of training and teaching that is so overwhelming in its breadth and scope that it takes one’s breath away.
While I am offended (but also amused) that Mr. Ledo considers Ann Romney a “gross underachiever” for not pursuing a career to try to balance with motherhood, I will tell you from personal experience that there is simply no contest. My job as book author and talk show co-host pales in comparison to the challenge of being a mother to my children. What I am tasked with as their mother – not just meeting their personal needs but also training them for the future – makes motherhood the most daunting career on the market. Toddlers seem intent on seeking out bodily harm. A mother gets just enough time to gather her wits before the toddler becomes a teen with that same insatiable desire for danger.
Motherhood is exhausting. It’s also beautiful and challenging and not for wimps. Motherhood is only overrated by the people who have no clue what motherhood is really all about.
Rachel Balducci
Augusta
Preach it! HUMPH
Perfect! Respectful but pointed. Good job Rachel!
Love it!!! Love your last line too, “motherhood is only overrated….” definitely want to save that one!
Thank you for writing this letter. I remember well when my daughter’s guitar teacher commented on my M.R.S. degree. I answered that I didn’t think that’s what they were handing out at [Prestigious Snooty Institution] when I attended. I loved the shocked look I got. And I was one who had to learn the hard way what’s most important in life – doing well by my husband and kids, which is the vocation to which God has called me.
For me, the real heroines are the moms who don’t have the flip comeback, because they recognized their primary vocation and have given it their whole hearts and efforts from the get-go. You stood up so well for them and for all of us!
Thanks Rachael, and also Meg, for your well put words that speak so well to me right now. I have been home with my 6 kids (also 5 boys and 1 girl) since my first son was born 13 years ago. I quit my job as a full time RN, working in adult intensive care for 7 years, knowing that I would one day come back to nursing. Lately, though, I have been really missing the mental stimulation, the adult interaction and the positive feedback I used to get from my patients and their families. My youngest child is only 2 1/2, and I sense that the time may soon be coming to get back into my career one day a week. I used to think nursing was the most challenging job, but now I believe motherhood tops the most challenging job list! It requires the most endurance, most creativity, and greatest faith!!
Yes! Thank you Rachel!
PERFECT!!!!! You are a hero! Thank you for defending us mommies!
Beautiful! Thanks for defending the ranks Rachel.
Very tastefully put, Rachel. Nice job!
Wow! I can’t believe that someone who is not a mother would comment on the “ease” of motherhood. I’m not a mother, but I am a wife. Just taking care of my husband seems like a daunting task at times. I am so nervous (and excited) for the way my life will change when children enter our home! On behalf of all mothers, wifes, daughters, and aunties, thank you for speaking up!
You go, girlfriend! Makes you wonder what kind of mother, or lack thereof, that guy had.
I don’t comment on here often. Actually, this might be my first time commenting, but I just had to pop over from my google reader to say, Thank you!! Thank you on behalf of myself, my mother, my grandmothers, and my aunts. That man should be ashamed. If not for himself, then for the sake of his own mother or any woman that has helped him in his life. Funny. The left keep ranting about the “War on Women”, but the only bashing of women I’m seeing comes from those on the left! This man is clearly a misogynist.
And don’t you feel guilty about listing your jobs as an author and co-host. You have every right to be proud of that. Those opportunities and gifts God has given you is nothing to hide.
God bless you, Rachel.
Good for you Rachel! That letter to the editor (the one you’re responding to) is outrageous. Turning on the TV and the microwave is nowhere near 90% of what stay-at-home moms spend their time doing, even the ones who don’t do their job particularly well. I would love to see this guy spend a week at home taking care of young kids all day.
Thanks mom extraordinaire! :0)
Really, how many moms are actually telling their kids to turn off the tv because their brains are turning to mush!
Thanks for setting him straight– cyber hi-five.
I am so glad you did that. The last line was the perfect cap. Well done!
Right on sister. On behalf of my late mother who courageously suffered people’s gossip, but had the intelligence to read Dickens as an avid hobby, I want to say thank you. Ditto for my wife. My mum brought up 5 boys and a girl all of whom went on to attend church weekly and give her 20 grandchildren, . The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. You only have to look at the disdain people would pour on that statement these days; then look at the state of the world.
Ps Your delivery is brilliant.
Well done!
I think your response was incredibly kind. Either the guy did not have a good mother when he was growing up or she has not read his letter, yet! I’d love to see her comment.
“Toddlers seem intent on seeking out bodily harm. A mother gets just enough time to gather her wits before the toddler becomes a teen with that same insatiable desire for danger.”
That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it?! LOVED it!
At the end of the day, that guy (as a child) would have preferred being raised by a loving mom rather than a nanny or a day care.
Amen!
Perhaps that man had a mom who did take the easy way. I’m sure motherhood is a lot “easier” (superficially) if the mom doesn’t care about the health, well-being, character, morals, faith, growth, development, nutrition, education, and general values of her children. But to be that kind of “mother” would require not caring at ALL about your child/children. What a shame.
Thank you Rachel for such a really well-written response! Too often still our society looks down on women who stay home, as if they are less intelligent, which is so far from true. Like Scotch Meg, I’ve had a few people surprised when college comes up….
But I exist in an in-between world–perhaps a little like some bloggers, authors, and TV-hosts
— I work, but work at home and some flexibility in my hours. So I’m here, but I’m not always “free” for moms lunches or trips to the park.
LOVE IT!!! Made me want to stand up and cheer cause you hit the nail on the head. Especially with you last line “Motherhood is only overrated by the people who have no clue what motherhood is really all about.”