Oh Hail

Today at the pool, Isabel came up to me and said she had “boogers” in her nose. She asked me to take them out.

I told my darling girl to lean her head back so I could wipe her nose. We had done this earlier, about 20 minutes prior, when I did one of those sweep and wipes, where I sort of pinched a little on her nose to collect the drips.

This time, however, what I saw in her nose was something black.

“That’s funny,” I thought, “she hasn’t had time to get some crusty embed.” Those are usually the type that you find in the morning, and usually in the winter months, when things stay kind of runny and crusty. You know the season.

This afternoon, standing there in the baby pool leaning in to my sweet daughter’s face, it just didn’t make sense. A black booger? This time of year?

I reached my hands toward her nose to discover it was actually some kind of hard object. I quickly, subconsciously, searched the bushes edging the pool area. Were there dark berries on them? Would she? COULD she?

Here’s where I should add that a few days earlier, at graduation to be exact, I witnessed Isa quickly and with great stealth sneak a long grape stem into her nose. If I hadn’t watched it I would never have believed it. But as I sat right there next to her I caught her hand just as it finagled the last of the twig into her nostril. I had to reach up with the pointiest of fingertips to retrieve the object.

Today, that thought was swirling through my brain as I positioned those same fingertips to remove what I could only imagine to be a berry, though I had no idea where she had found one.

I reached and pulled and to my great surprise and horror (and intrigue, but only the slightest little bit) I pulled out of Isabel’s nostril Four Hail Mary’s. A row of beads. A rosary! Out of my daughter’s nose.

beads

The good news is we have several rosaries around the house that are in pieces. That’s not really good news (shame on us!) but you know, it explains how she could have such a small portion of beads to work with. As in, she didn’t break it into bits and slowly shove each portion up her nostril. Right, Isa?

The bad news is…oh, a whole host of things. Where are the rest of the beads? Most likely not in her nose (I’m checking, I have my methods). Also, why? Isabel, WHY? When will this stop? What else can I expect? How in the world and oh, let’s not think about this any longer.

Comments

  1. My brother. Chocolate chips and some berry from the bushes at the edge of the yard, bordering the woods. We still laugh about it. He earned his nickname “Booger”. Sorry!

  2. My daughter did this with raisins. I was not happy. We had to go to the stinking ER because she did it on a Saturday afternoon. While we were waiting for the doctor, she sneezed them out. $365 later, we got to go home. ARRRGH! It’s a good thing that kids are cute!

  3. This is one of the best posts ever. [Mainly because no one was seriously injured]

  4. Ohmygoodness. I read this and said, wait…what?? I must have read that wrong. Nope. I’m amazed and a little queasy. My boys may use rosaries as lassos but I have yet to find one in their nose. But at least it made a great post! Lol.

  5. Kristina says:

    My son placed a soynut up his nostril when he was three. At the e.r., the doctor closed the other nostril by pressing it with his finger and told him to blow. Out popped the soynut. I spent the last eleven years wondering “why didn’t I think of that?” However, he has yet to stick anything else up his nose since then.

  6. Michelle says:

    it baffles me how kids can do this. This has to hurt them as they shove those little pieces us. Yikes! :0/

  7. This is the best post title of all time.

  8. A few years ago, my (then)two year old daughter stuck three macaroni noodles up her nose while at dinner one night. It was just by chance that my husband saw the third noodle go up. I was sitting right next to her and had no clue. Only when one noodle was removed piece by piece with tweezers did we discover the other two noodles. Honestly, what (WHAT!?) goes through the mind of a toddler? “Hmmmm, I could eat this, or shove it up my nose. Nose it is!”

  9. It was a tiny safety pin for us. My little guy told me he wanted to hide it so his brother wouldn’t take it from him. That was a little trip to Urgent Care for the long, grabby scissors.

  10. Sometimes I get a bit sad because all my kids are grown. I miss having little ones around and get nostalgic. Posts like this snap me right out of it. 😉 Thanks!

    AMDG

  11. Rachael says:

    According to our local paediatric ENT consultant, removal of foreign objects from little noses is their most common surgical procedure after removal of foreign objects from little ears…. Ask me why he told me……:)

  12. Thankfully, my kids have had no desire to put anything up the nose or in the ear. I say thankfully especially because my daughter has autism and yeah, we’d be looking at putting her under to get anything out and my boys well, they don’t take to kindly to any type of “surgical” procedure. Removing a tiny splinter out of a foot took an hour and two adults when it should have taken two minutes and one.

  13. When I was three or four I stuffed several small pebbles up my nose. I asked if I could bring them in the house and my dad told me my mother wouldn’t like it so I did the only thing that made sense, I stuffed them up my nose so I could smuggle them in the house. The idea worked great until I couldn’t get them out. They did come out on their own once my big brothers scared me and told me the doctor was going to vacuum them out of my nose with a pool vac. I still remember the panicked feeling of realizing the pebbles were stuck.

  14. Got a barbie shoe out of Clare’s nose once and paid large amount of money to get corn kernel out of Theresa’s nose at Junaluska urgent care — she was supposed to be feeding the ducks with the corn.

  15. Not something any of my kids ever did, thank goodness! But we’ve had PLENTY of other “what were you thinking?!” moments…..!

  16. Has your daughter seen someone with a nose piercing lately? When I was 5 was mesmerized by a cashier at the store who had a nose piercing. I found a fake pearl on the ground and put the pearl by my nostril hoping to imitate her. I sniffed and the pearl went up my nose. I was too afraid to tell anyone and it wasn’t until my Mom, who was pregnant and on bed rest, saw something shiny in my nose that I confessed. I had to go to the ER for them to get it out. So glad your daughter is O.K.

    Oh and that experience cured me of ever wanting my nose pierced.

  17. Amanda M. says:

    “…..I witnessed Isa quickly and with great stealth sneak a long grape stem into her nose.” Funniest.line.ever. (Well, not for Mom. For the Reader.)

  18. Yep, I stuck a barbie shoe up my nose in preschool, earning me a trip to the doctor (who of course told me to blow it out). I remember very clearly today that, 1) it just smelled good, and I was trying to smell it, and 2) I TOLD everyone that I should just blow my nose, but they wouldn’t let me. I remember being so annoyed that everyone made such a big deal about it 🙂

  19. BarbaraW says:

    That is SO funny! My third child, a sweet little girl, used to bite everything! We still have blinds on our living room windows that display her teeth marks. I am very happy to say, though, that she never bit her three sisters.

  20. Plastic airplane wheels still attached to the axle. The odd-shaped bulge was a dead give away. Needless to say we survived it. I can’t even remember which of the older two it was anymore.

  21. My brother stuck a My Little Pony jewel up his nose and showed my mom, who was on the phone. She gasped, he gasped, and WHOOSH went the jewel further up the nose.
    In addition a quote of my mother’s which has become an oft-repeated family joke is, “Mike, take the key out of your navel!”
    I am relying on my mother for advice as my 15 mo old is cut from the same cloth. Shouldn’t have named him Michael too.

  22. Heather says:

    A red, cone-shaped, hollow lego. No blowing that one out! He just wanted to see if it would fit. Boy, did it!

  23. Christine says:

    Chocolate chips up my sons nose. Thank goodness they eventually melted!

    I love all the stories here.

  24. This is a very entertaining comment thread. And a little bit horrifying. Really glad neither of my boys were into sticking things up their noses. That I know of.