Liveblogging (a few minutes of) Sharknado

Augie: Why is there no shark in the street flooding?

Elliott: Shh. Be quiet.

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Me (referring to several of the actors): Man that guy looks old.

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Augie, repeating the fake New York accent: It’s just a little woitah.

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Elliott: Why did he take a stool? Man, that’s dumb.

Other boys: It’s his favorite stool. (duh)

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All boys: [insane laughter]

Charlie: What just happened?

Ethan: Home Alone dad just died.

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Elliott: What just happened?

Consensus: I think they made it through so everyone’s relieved.

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Me: What’s the point of Sharknado?

Augie: Everything.

Elliott: Does that question even need to be asked?

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Me: Oh my gosh Tara Reid.

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Me, catching on: So the sharks make up the tornado?

Ethan: The sharks get swept up in the tornado, see?

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More laughter. Insane laughter. The sound of chips being munched as a shark eats a bookcase.

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Ethan: This is a knock-off of all things Deep Blue Sea.

Paul: I like how that guy’s name is Finn.

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Paul: Why do they stay on the stairs instead of going all the way up?

No one knows. We do know we are all emotionally touched by the image of the newly-eaten Second Husband’s framed photo floating through the bloody waters.

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Charlie: Did you see that? It jumped on top and he used like a plunger to go straight through.

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Character trapped in school bus filled with children as sharks swirl: “We’re going to stay in here and we’re going to be just fine…”

Augie: …said no one ever.

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Alright. I won’t lie. I can’t keep watching. I don’t think…All I keep thinking is “I’m so glad all these actors got this gig. I bet they were so excited to get the part.”

Charlie predicts the line is about to snap. Finn lived. The special effects are…intense.

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Did you watch? I think I liked Dinocroc better. Just saying.

Comments

  1. Aunt Catherine says:

    Too.Much. Paul’s first line was hilariously random. I’m glad our families have funny people.

  2. Mark your calendar: Sharknado is on SyFy Thursday night. We’re making a night of it!
    My daughter and I watched clips online last night and can’t wait.