My brilliant idea of writing every day in May was such an awesome thought until I remembered that school gets out in May. Which means that the weeks leading up to the end of school have those outrageous levels of chaos, time suck and bank account hemorrhaging along with the strain and angst that goes along with any one of those options, never mind all three combined.
For some reason I’ve taken the end of school in an unusual way this year — I can’t really describe it, despite my efforts to analyze and contemplate and ponder “what in the world is this new way of being?”
One thing I’ll tell you is that I’ve discovered, either because of my age or the age of my children, is that I do very little pre-pondering any more. Especially when it comes to upcoming events, there is very little of the countdown of yesterday. It’s not that events necessarily sneak up on me (though it’s true that happens occassionally!). It’s more like it doesn’t really sink in that it’s actually whatever it is that I knew was on the horizon. As in, yesterday was the last day of school and it really hit me about three hours after the boys were home. We got out half-day, went for a Mexican feast celebration, hurried home and then I thought, “now what?” Seriously, I could not figure out how to ease the system into a nice sloooow stop.
Tonight, Isa did her usual jaunt over to visit Gramma and Papa after dinner. She’s in this sweet little mode where she gets excused from the dinner table and then heads out the side door, down the driveway and around the gate. She knocks on the door, my mom opens it and Isa’s first comment is “Let’s do my hair.” And then they read some books. It’s amazing.
So after I finished at the table I headed over with Isa’s pajamas. I decided to get her ready for bed over there (since bedtime stories was covered, thank you Gramma!). And as I hustled with getting her into her night clothes my mom asked what we had going on.
“Um,” I pondered, “nothing.”
You certainly couldn’t tell that from my speed and level and movement. I was in a hurry. Going from HERE to hmmmm…where?
So the first day of summer means still feeling like you have to race down the highway, only to realize you are actually not in a hurry, not one bit.
I wonder how many days it’s going to take for my brain and my body to connect on this issue. Also, it would be nice if my stress levels could fall in line as well.