Daily Ten: Thwarted Edition

It might appear that I’ve already dropped my resolution to blog daily but the TRUTH IS that my internet went out at home and I couldn’t blog. How ironic is that? I finally decide to get back to work and then I can’t.

AND, fast forward five days (I started this post that long ago) and now we are on vacation and I suddenly remembered my resolve and how I’ve already failed. Which is good, right? I’ve gotten that out of the way!

So my thoughts for today are: just keep swimming. And thanks so much for the kinds words from readers who are so quick to encourage me to keep moving forward. I’m one of those people who need the encouragement, so I really appreciate it.

Vacation has been wonderful and I didn’t realize how I’d been looking forward to this all summer long. This is our week together as a family, and while I could lament that fact that we are now “big enough” to come to this (why can’t we just all be together always and forever?) I’m choosing to focus on the joy of this moment. We are here, together in this house, making memories this week on this beach. It is good.

Today’s Ten

Yesterday Isabel and I were getting ready to head out the door for her five-year check-up. I was applying my eye shadow and blush and Isa looked at me and asked if she could put on a little lip gloss, “so I can look stylish.”

Oh my goodness the words this girl says.

It’s not so much the words as the concepts. Having a child who, at five, has this idea of what appearances even means — well this is something entirely new for me. In the past, dealing with a five-year-old meant our discussions on going out in public centered exclusively on behavior and the need to not run away from me. To consider how you will look when you leave the home? Never ever in my wildest dreams did I realize that was A Thing before the age of fifteen.

Apparently, it is.

So I let Isabel dab a little gloss and inspect herself in the mirror and she looked lovely. We saw the doctor and it was a very calm and pleasant little experience indeed. It also made me laugh how Isabel’s version of being the center of attention (as one tends to be when one goes to the doctor) was to sit very still and cross her hands properly, just so. In the past few years, bringing Henry to see our pediatrician has meant bracing myself for him to LITERALLY (not literally but just about literally) climb off the walls. He too loves our doctor and his way of getting all the attention is to GO NUTS.

The great thing about our doctor is he handles it all very chilled outĀ either way. I am sure there was a time I apologized for wild behavior from my children (really, it’s just so discouraging) while finding a balance in correcting them constantly and listening to what the doctor is saying. In other words, at some point you have to cut your losses (no amount of my correcting is doing the trick in this moment, I will deal with this later) and tune out wild antics so you can actually talk about what’s going on with your child (which is: this whole {hands swirling} scene, please tell me we aren’t all crazy).

And the good news, as I sat there and enjoyed the moment with Isabel where she made the whole experience so very pleasant indeed, is that I didn’t have any false sense of victory. I mean, of course I was proud of my daughter’s excellent behavior, but I was also very much aware that it had little to do with my superior parenting skills. Whew. Glad there’s that.

Enter Title Here.

I am out of the habit of writing here and it pains me greatly. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve created a post (in my mind) only to get distracted three minutes later and blink and two weeks have gone by before I’ve thought about writing again.

And then there are the times I actually have sat down and started to write and I can’t figure out how to finagle it. How do you restart something you’ve let die, and do you acknowledge that fact that you have basically given up on it and almost closed it down — is that too melodramatic?

Anyway, all that aside, I was having a conversation with my baby brother last night, he who just moved across the street from me (and through the backyard)! We were chatting, just casually standing there as we said goodnight and at some point he said something about that need to write and get the words out. And I realized that for me, that’s been missing in my life and might have a lot to do with some struggles I have lately. I need to get the words out, regardless or who is reading or even whether or not I have a grand message to share.

A writer writes always. And not because of the need to produce as much as the need to just exhale. Verbally/mentally/emotionally speaking.

So here I am, making a pledge (to myself) for a new ten-minutes a day blogging approach. That’s all. Hopefully more will come in the future, but for now, here I am. I hope this helps.

This Too Shall Pass