Blogging Again? Blogging Again.

So I might start this up again. Yeah! Let’s do it.

It has been almost a year since I wrote here and I’m in a major life shift. I have BIG KIDS now and life is different. At first I thought the change would mostly be about not feeling free to write about life with bigger kids. And that’s true. Big kids are their own beings. I mean, little kids are too but it’s different. You can write about them without feeling weird. But bigger people — I don’t really know if Elliott wants me telling you all about how great he’s doing in college (he is!) or Ethan’s plans (which are exciting!). Anyway this is clunky but I’m not going to sit here and delete a bunch of stuff. Otherwise I’ll never get this going again.

So I’m writing a book! Finally, a second book. I think it was just God’s time, because I’ve been hoping and praying and trying so hard to make something happen and finally, after all this time, it did! I’m excited about the topic but I’ll tell ya, I’m living it HARD right now. My dad mentioned something to me this morning that I think is so true: it’s like God is allowing some stuff to happen to give me perspective with my topic. The book is about having order in your life. So, yup Crazy times. Which, let’s be honest, I’m glad to be going through this instead of writing a book and being some kind of insufferable know-it-all. I think. Although being a know-it-all can be fun, because at least you are under some delusion that you’ve got it all together.

Ok, as an aside, I would just like to add that I can tell it’s been a long time since I’ve written like this because I keep finding myself wanting to use emojis to communicate. Like here is would put the little face with giant eyes. And up above I wanted to use the face with the hand under the chin ruminating. So wow, totally time to get back to the written word.

Back to the topic at hand.

About a month ago I realized I was just completely overwhelmed with my life. Like, suddenly there just didn’t seem to be grace for anything. It was crazy because I couldn’t even figure out what had changed. All the things that seemed to be running so smooth six months ago — well, it just wasn’t. I felt exhausted and emotional and couldn’t find the gaps in my day that I once used for sanity stops. Something in my life had changed and my carefully constructed daily schedule was sort of collapsing.

The schedule itself wasn’t collapsing so much as my ability to make it all work. And what I realized (I’ll spare you all the days and weeks I spent naval gazing and fretting and analyzing out the wazoo) was that I had scheduled and managed myself out to here (hold up hands shoulder width apart) and my life had expanded to here (hold hands slightly wider). What used to work “professionally” and “domestically” was no longing dovetailing. Things in my personal life were shifting in unforeseen ways; namely, big kids take up a different type of time and energy.

What worked with smaller or “in the home” kids just didn’t anymore. It’s totally different than what kids getting a bigger world view need. Does that make sense? Even just last year, with five kids at the same school and me working there, we were all on the same flow, so to speak. This year I have two kids that live either at home or just nearby who are doing something different from the rest of us, and suddenly I’m needed outside the realm I’d gotten used to.

I started realizing that my body was on overdrive ALL the time. I never got downtime, or a buffer with what was needed of me and what I needed in order to recharge to give. The margin I had built in got too small with the shifts in my life.

So I had to start having a hard conversation about all the commitments I had made and what I could now realistically do. And that’s where I’m at now. Trying to rearrange some things, working to consider how to manage things in the future. I also realized in the midst of all of this that I had let go of some things a few years ago that were the things that brought me the most joy. Namely, writing. And if you are wired to write in order to assimilate, that’s not a good thing to dump.

I don’t have all the solutions just yet. Ha! I don’t have nearly any at all. But recognizing that I’m in need of change — that I’m ready for it — that a good place to start.

Thanks for listening. And I’m so happy I remembered my password to this space. xo

How To Talk About Politics with Family

The holidays are always a wonderful time to enjoy family, lots of family. It’s all about spending time together, so much family time that by January 2 you promise yourself you won’t utter another word to another human being for the next six months. .

Let’s face it: the holidays are awesome and fun but also overwhelming and exhausting.

Add to the normal stressors the recent election and if you’re not careful your future promises to hold many explosive dinnertime conversations. Triple this prediction when you throw in booze.

People are passionate about politics and just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you see eye to eye on everything. In fact, there’s a good chance you have a few points on which you don’t agree. Call me crazy but I think this is true.

Here are some tips I’d like to share to make your holiday season a peaceful, pleasant and fun occasion. I call this, “Rachel’s Three Simple Rules to Making the Christmas Season a Fun-filled Time for All.”

Don’t talk about politics. Seriously. Don’t do it.

Really, I mean it. Don’t talk about politics.

I’m not lying. Don’t even think about talking about politics.

And that’s the advice I’ve got for you. Follow Rules 1, 2 and 3 and everything will go well for you and your loved ones this holiday season. I cannot stress enough the importance of following these rules. To stray from this in any way is madness.

I know it might seem like I’m joking but I’m absolutely serious. Now is not the time to talk about politics. For starters, the election is fresh on everyone’s mind. And if you think you understand where someone is coming from in who they voted for, think again. None of us can truly, totally understand where another person stands on every single issue. Someone else voting for the candidate you hated doesn’t necessarily signal anything.

So, okay. Here’s one way you are allowed to talk politics: you keep your mouth closed and just listen. That’s the smart way. Don’t go into any conversations with big plans to change minds and open hearts. That will end poorly, very poorly indeed. If you really truly want to “talk politics” then you can just sit back and try to figure out where your brother/cousin/mother-in-law is coming from and really listen to what they say.

OR you can compliment them on the good looking sweater and focus on the delicious meal in front of you.

This is not a cop-out. I repeat: this is not a cop-out. Keeping it real during the holiday season is not about getting all our junk out on the table. It’s not the time to acknowledge all the ways we don’t see eye-to-eye. Christmas is about the gift of family, of love and life and joy. Have a glass of wine! Toast all the goodness God has to offer.

This works, trust me.

Did you know that you can have vastly different political views with family members and still get along swimmingly? You might even realize that you have more in common with this person that you knew. The key is to focus on all that you share — your love for each other, your family ties, a history with people you love — and not let your differences get in the way.

At the end of the day (or days or week) what is worth working on is the relationship. What I have come to realize and believe is this: nothing, no ideology or political candidate or stance, is more important to me than a relationship. Which means I will choose to ignore everything but love when it comes to dealing with people.

There is always more in common than we think, especially when things are heated. Take a step back, say a little prayer, and ask Jesus for wisdom and patience and lots of love.

And pray the person on the other end can do the same.

This originally appeared in The Southern Cross.

Quick Thoughts

Another quick blog post because, why not? I’m sitting at my favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurant and getting work done. I have to leave the house to work because if I stay at home I will basically find anything to do other than sit and write. You’d think being a writer that I actually like writing. But I find ways to put anything ahead of it if I allow myself. I don’t really understand it. It’s like I want all the stars to align and everything in perfect order before I get down to it.

It’s weird.

So if I were home I would be dealing with the dishwasher and switching over laundry and then a quick spot cleaning of the windows and mirrors in the entire house. Then I would maybe sweep the steps real quick, wipe down a few handprints off every single wall in the house and by then it’s time to scrub a bathroom and switch over the laundry again.

When you put it like that, writing is way more fun but for some strange reason I get my priorities all messed up.

On the school front: we are coming up on two more weeks until Christmas break. It’s not too bad yet. It’s nice that kids don’t realize that two weeks is no time at all. I think when you are a teenager two and three weeks still seems like an eternity (it’s epic for small people). So it’s nice to think things won’t get super crazy until a few days before. But if memory serves me correctly (last year being my first full-time experience) it’s a little bit NUTS.

My brother Josh came and spoke to our high school students today. He did a great job. He’s an alumnus of this school as well (all eight of us went here) and something he shared really inspired me. What one thing can I do today to challenge myself? What can I do that has me pushing a little harder in one area than the day before?

I don’t usually think that way. It’s possible I actually already even do this, but I know I’ve never really thought in those terms. So now I’m thinking: what can I do today to try a little harder? Maybe really make an effort to have personal prayer (I come and go so quickly on that front!). Or perhaps pushing through in work and writing efforts, when I’d rather take a quick break (again!).

On that note: back to work! xo

Blogging Life

I just feel like writing. I’m sad I’m out of the habit. I’m working on a fairly big writing project right now and in addition to teaching and running a household and being a wife and mama, sharing my funny little thoughts has fallen off my radar.

Plus, do people even do blogs anymore?

Also, that’s not proper English. That’s okay.

But the beautiful thing about my blog is I get to say what I want and how I want and not worry about what people are thinking. And when I don’t write, it messes with my melon. I say the same thing every time I climb up onto my little writing stool and try to get the words out. But it’s okay. That’s okay, too.

It’s a form of plumbing.

Which reminds me, I need to call the plumber. Our main bathroom toilet isn’t working.

Here’s an awesome funny story I want to share:

Henry stayed home from school yesterday because he had a fever the day before. He was feeling much better, still has a hacking little cough, but we were able to spend a few hours running errands and getting him some clothes. He doesn’t fit any hand-me-downs from the brothers, mostly because he is my first child who wears the Husky version of the clothes on the market.

So we went to Wal-mart where Henry spied a pair of compression shorts that looked like those his older brothers wear. I sprung for them as a treat (and they ended up only costing $1.50 so SCORE!).

Last night Henry donned the new shorts and wore them to family prayers, which was immodest probably but there you go. So he’s walking into the front room and suddenly he notices that his new compression shorts have a pocket! One GIANT pocket directly in the front. That’s weird, he observed, but proceeded to put his hand in the pocket to make use of such a cool option.

“That’s not a pocket,” Elliott finally told Henry. “It’s for a cup.”

“Sweet!,” said Henry. “I’ll stick a cup in there and have a really giant straw and I can walk around with a drink in my pocket.”

Life is good.